The Morning

As I opened my eyes again I realized I was not in my bed.  Who was this next to me?  The same overwhelming feeling came over me.  I had done it again.  What had happened?  I had asked myself this question many times before, after the same result, after the same brutal feeling.  Over and over, it´s as if I just couldn´t break the pattern.  I couldn´t stop myself.  The euphoria of the night carried me all the way through the morning to this minute of anguish, when all the walls seemed to close in over me.  I tried to remember…but nothing.  I felt crushed, it was hard to breathe.  I felt a thousand eyes upon me but I knew I was alone.  Was my mind going?  No. This was my stop. Just another subway ride to work.

An Apple by the Window

Red.  As big as the sun that sailed the sky.  An apple I saw by the window I stood.  A comet, a star, heading toward me.  Red it was when it hit my head, and so was I when I knew who had thrown it.

The Fly

I suddenly hit my head against the hard wall that wasn´t there and I bounced across the room. If I could only find…there! I saw the opening, I could see the front lawn. I mustered all my energy and headed straight for it. Blam! Again!. “I must be losing my mind” I said. What was happening to me? I could not remember anything for some reason. I though this was my house, the look out the window was there but it seemed bigger. Everything did.

Ok, one more time, but this time I´d go slower. Then I had a thought. I´d hit my head a couple of times, and it was beginning to hurt. I should check for any injuries. I felt dizzy, out of place. I couldn´t feel my body, not like usual. I headed over to the mirror in the halway and there I was…just a spot. A fly.

The New Shape

Did you ever feel that there was something more other than the usual?

When you saw that movie, did you feel you had already taken the red pill, that you knew there was no rabbit hole, that it was something else?

Did you ever feel an unstoppable force pushing from within you to launch you out of yourself?