I am a man. I have spent the latter 20 years of my life understanding some aspects of women´s behaviour toward men. I have found there are some things that women seem to share when relating to a man, or men, with the exception, of course, of the interactions in violent and psicotic relationships that end up in court rooms with lawyers appealing life sentences. By this I by no means imply that women are all alike, that´s nonsense. However, I do believe that many women, not all, have become victims of a generalized social trend to find some sense in one´s own existence by comparing it to the weapons of media bombardment, namely movies, tv series, etc. the breeding ground for that social malaise called
I´m sure you´ve seen a movie which claims a formula of How To Get Rid of A Man in 10 Days. It´s a funny film, if you´re into that sort of humor, and it shows certain obvious patterns of behaviour that would not only get rid of a guy but also put into question the young woma´s sanity. But how about the other things some women do? The things that are unexplainable and yet so powerful that they create conflict, confusion and mayhem, how about those patterns? How can someone become a millionaire writting a book that tries to cconvince us that men and women are so different they even come from different planets? Women and men come fromthe same planet, this one. Anything else is just…the new marketing scam.
From my experience in this planet, please allow me to share with you the following advice:
Women:
Before you do anything, please understand the following: what a man is not.
A man is not: the manifestation of all the nonsensical sit-com characters, grandma´s comments, your best friend´s ex-boyfriend, your ex-boyfriend, the fairy tale guy, the movie action hero, the centerfold of Playgirl magazine, the scumbag that grabbed your ass on the subway, the guy who shot Bambi, James Bond, your friend´s drunk uncle, the sweet guy from 7th grade, Mr. I´ll Give You the Night of Your Life at the local bar, a walking erection, the inventor of the Stiletto pumps, your knight in shinning armour, “just like all the other men”, only thinking about sex, the guy who botched your latte, a must-be millionaire, rotten to the core, “just waiting till I´m not around to cheat on me!”, hitting on all your friends, ATM machines, stupid boys that like sportscars, and all the other “ideas” you have heard throughout your entire life about “what men are”. We could be here all day. Some other time perhaps.
So, think of how you´d like to be seen as a woman, as yourself, and I can bet you a flight to Paris that a man also has ideas of how he´d like to be perceived as a man, as himself. A man is an autonomous individual. He is what and how he is, he will be what and how he chooses to be. I recommend that you begin to discover the man in question before jumping back to the comfortable assumptions and prejudices you may have about previous experiences with men. Getting to know a person is one of the most fascinating aspects of our existence, it is like finding out a new world within ourselves that we did not know before, that is, if we pay close attention. People in our lives are like mirrors of our self.
A man is just another human being with his own experiences, likes, dislikes and in his own quest to find who he is. He´s also been affected by this false identity bombardment and would probably be very happy to meet someone who is also tryign to find her true self.
Be good, enjoy.
