Your Parents or Mine?

The question that began the War of Troy when Helen and Paris asked themselves…”Shall we dine with your parents or mine?”

The most important people in a relationship are two: You and your mate.  Say and repeat.

The sure way to begin an argument with your mate is to begin defending why the two of you should do whatever with “your parents” and not “your parents”.  Remember that most of us tend to take things in a personal way, so, even if your mate thinks his mother´s cooking is terrible and has told you so in many ocassions, do not bring that up.  This is not to say that you should not express what you think, you should, absolutely.  My point is the following: the third solution.

The third solution implies a satisfactory result for both which satisfies each individual.  If he wants to do have Thanksgiving dinner at his parents, and you want to go to your parents ask yourself the following: what is the important thing here?

Sure your parents will be happy to have you, and his parents too.  Whose happiness is more important here?  Yours and your mate´s.  A third solution to this dilemma is to bring everyone under one roof and break an old tradition to start a new one.  If someone´s parents can´t deal with that then that´s their problem.  For those thinking of the mayhem that would cause, there´s another third option.  Thanksgiving for two.

The important thing here is to look for the third solution before limiting the decission-making process based on the preferences and satisfaction of only one person in the relationship.  This way you can avoid future resentment and unhappiness.

Be happy, the possibilities are infinite.